hindarochel (hindarochel) wrote,
hindarochel
hindarochel

So, Was I Wrong?

Should I have done otherwise?

My daughter, the Artist, has two friends who have been fighting over her. Originally these two girls, call them Shana and Temmimah, were friends. But then they stopped being friends. My daughter, originally was friends with Shana. Temmimah moved into the neighborhood, after the breakup between Shana and Temmimah, and The Artist became friends with Temmmimah.

School that year proved a disaster. Temmimah and Shana got into many fights and scrapes, my daughter was often in the middle.

This year as she is homeschooling I figured the wars would ease. Also, Shana moved up the hill, so most of the time The Artist is playing with Temmimah.

Shabbat; unannounced Shana came down to play with The Artist. The Artist was already playing with Temmimah, and wouldn't entertain the idea of playing with both girls. I sent The Monkey over to get The Artist and to talk with her, so that at least she could know Shana was there trying to see her. The Artist talked, and became unhappy, Temmimah noticed, the two girls talked and Shana and my daughter came back to my house to work things out. Temmimah expressed the fact that she had no hard feelings to Shana, and when I told her to tell that to Shana herself, she did. She left my daughter and Temmimah to play, but then came back to tell Shana and my daughter that her father said both girls could play at her house. ie, she was offering, imho, the hand of friendship, and very nicely too, especially for a teen. But Shana would have none of it, refused to try, stated that it would be a long time before she would accept the other girls apology (I got the image of Temmimah having to jump through hoops) claimed she couldn't and eventually walked away in a huff.

Well, I feel bad for Shana, but really it seems to me she had a golden opportunity to make peace, even if she wouldn't have a friendship and that the Artist had every right to go play with Temmmimah, that Temmmimah had every right to go play with the Artist (they had a wonderful afternoon together) and that even if she walked down here, and had no one else to play with the ball was totally in her court and it was her loss.

But there is a nagging edge of guilt. I also wonder if I shouldn't call Shana's mom and explain what happened lest Shana tells what isn't exactly the truth.

Or just leave it and not worry anymore?
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